Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Blissed out...

I drove to work this morning—couldn’t face the bus for a variety of reasons—and found my shoulders relaxing for the first time in months.  I also felt a burst of euphoria that has been missing in my life for a long time.  Partly, it was a beautiful, crisp morning.  The cottonwoods along the Yellowstone River blazed gold and orange and I saw several bald eagles lending their magnificence to the landscape.  The mountains have new snow and the bright blue sky with its lustrous autumn light was balm to my jangled heart.  On a deeper level, I think my recent decision has given me a peace that I’m blessed and surprised to find.  I know it’s right for me to be out of my relationship, even though it was a good one in a lot of ways, and even though I miss him and ache for his current pain.  But I feel lighter and happier.  And for now, at ease with relaxed shoulders and a light heart.  I’m sure I’ll have periods of doubt and anxiety over this in the coming weeks, but I want to remember how I’m feeling right now so I know I can feel this way again, even through dark nights.

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