Allie's Epic Life

So...

2011-10-25T18:19:00.000-07:00

You know that euphoria I was talking about a few hours ago? It's gone. Now I just miss his strong arms and gentle spirit. I used to sometimes feel like I was the pinball and he was the rails--keeping me on track. This is tough. The dogs miss him and so do I. I made the right decision...right?

Blissed out...

2011-10-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

I drove to work this morning—couldn’t face the bus for a variety of reasons—and found my shoulders relaxing for the first time in months. I also felt a burst of euphoria that has been missing in my life for a long time. Partly, it was a beautiful, crisp morning. The cottonwoods along the Yellowstone River blazed gold and orange and I saw several bald eagles lending their magnificence to the landscape. The mountains have new snow and the bright blue sky with its lustrous autumn light was balm to my jangled heart. On a deeper level, I think my recent decision has given me a peace that I’m blessed and surprised to find. I know it’s right for me to be out of my relationship, even though it was a good one in a lot of ways, and even though I miss him and ache for his current pain. But I feel lighter and happier. And for now, at ease with relaxed shoulders and a light heart. I’m sure I’ll have periods of doubt and anxiety over this in the coming weeks, but I want to remember how I’m feeling right now so I know I can feel this way again, even through dark nights.

Don't Forget

2011-10-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

I Need:

• Stimulation
• To Adore
• To Respect
• To Laugh
• To Learn
• To Follow
• To Communicate
• To Lead
• To Be Confident in Him
• Faith
• Integrity
• To Be Respected
• Interest
• To Be Funny
• To Be Moving Forward
• Adventures
• Ambition
• Not Too Much Ambition
• Spark
• Love
• Independence
• Family
• Intelligence
• Curiosity

Quote of the Day...

2011-09-07T10:36:00.001-07:00

"There are two kinds of taste, the taste for emotions of surprise and the taste for emotions of recognition."
--Henry James

Something to ponder.

Labor-less Day Weekend

2011-09-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

Ah, the end of summer. A lot of things run through my mind when I understand that today is September 1st. Coziness. Hell (aka -35 with snow). Sweaters. Jackets. Sliding on ice & crashing. A couple months of lovely weather for running and hiking. Followed by the aforementioned hell. The gradual and heartbreaking fading of the tan I've worked so hard for. Birthday parties, great holidays, the end of feeling guilty that I didn't weed or water enough. Barren and birdless trees. First snows. Cuddling.

Hey. This is the first winter I've had a guy to cuddle with for a long time. Maybe it won't be so bad. Plus, he's going to teach me to cross-country ski. My current technique involves a lot of falling. I'm not a fan. And I'm signed up for yoga classes every weekend and during lunch on Thursdays. But I still don't look forward to having to put on 10 layers of clothes just to walk to the garage and back.

So, to kick off this ambivalence, we're having a weekend staycation. Friday we're going to go spend the day in Bozeman--shop, the man's going to get a haircut, I'll hang at the mall, we'll go for a hike with the dogs, and follow it all up with dinner at MT Aleworks. I'm really looking forward to a non-rushed day in the big city.

Saturday I'm going garage saling, to the farmer's market, and to breakfast with Aaron. And then I don't know what, although the man wants to watch a bunch of movies.

Sunday, church in Livingston and then maybe some crafty-type stuff. Fix a nice dinner.

Monday, the man's working, so I'm going to lounge about, read, and get to work on some Christmas presents.

Yup, sounds like a lovely, lovely labor-less weekend. I hope everyone else enjoys their rest from toil as well.

A

My new pal

2011-08-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

Introducing...Neeko!

What I Need...

2011-08-16T07:47:00.001-07:00

What I need right now…

Alone time.
Time to write something for me.
Time to cook something for me.
Time to read a really good book.
Time to go thrift store shopping.
Time to sit on the porch and gaze at the trees.
Time to go for a long run followed by a long walk.
Time for crafts.
Time to work on the house.
Time to miss Billy.
Time to meditate.
Time to listen to music.
Time to listen to silence.
Time to watch a bad tv show.
Time to hang out with the dogs.
Time to go for a hike with the dogs.
Time to do nothing.
Time for me.

Happy Summer!

2011-07-14T15:16:00.000-07:00

Summer's in full swing. Family is showing up tomorrow for a long week of fun and relaxation. They're going to see the new house, greet the new dog, and meet the new man. It's going to be a good, good time.

Hope everyone's well!

Er...Hi.

2010-12-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

So, I'm still working 2 jobs. Still trying to get stuff done on the new house. Still trying to be creative on some level in the few hours I have that are "free."

New things:

Some kind of terrible imbalance where I'm hungary and irritable (watch out, Ruffers and Lucy and Mom) pretty much all the time and feel like I'm constantly ready to *snap*. It reminds me of riding really high-strung show horses. And my arms are getting tired from holding onto the reins.
Still waiting to hear about a possible promotion in my job. Keep praying.
I've started jogging! I'm up to about 3 miles/day, although it's been tough since we had a horrendous snow storm last week. Please, people: SHOVEL YOUR SIDEWALKS BEFORE I KILL MYSELF IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE! Thank you.
2 authors whom I'm loving, loving, loving: Susan Hill and Christopher Fowler. Wonderful mysteries! Almost as good as my beloved Charles Todd.

That's it. I'm so ready to go home for Christmas. 2 blessed weeks in sunny San Antonio, TX. I feel calmer just thinking about it. Hopefully I can get through the ensuing 18 days without killing any puppies. Or my career. Or my poor sainted mother. Who I love very, very much.

Chillin in the yard

2010-10-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

Beautiful autumn day in the backyard

The Hunter

2010-10-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

Orion the Hunter greeted me this morning as I opened my eyes from a deep bus-coma. He was striding across the sky above and seemed to wave to me while he continued on his journey and I smiled in recognition. I miss him during the summer months; he's my favorite constellation and seeing him again in the fall is one of those rituals that I have come to look forward to. But take note--it was so dark when I got to work this morning, the stars were really, really bright.

So I didn't paint my entire bedroom last weekend as I had planned to. No, I went to Plan G. I decided that I'd rather wait til my mom visits next summer and we can do a big decoration project on the whole room. In the meantime, I painted the fireplace and moved in. It's much quieter back there and I love the view from the windows. It's the biggest bedroom I've ever had, so sleeping with that much space around me is really nice, somehow.

I think it looks pretty good. I'm not crazy about the blue walls, but I can live with them until early next summer. I love my new room.

Neglect

2010-10-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

Oh little blog, how I neglect you. But come on. My eyelid has been twitching almost non-stop for over a week--a sure sign that I'm 1. stressed and 2. tired. Something has to give! And apparently at least one of these somethings is this blog.

Things to look forward to this weekend:

1. Watching BBC from Netflix
2. The instant gratification of tips
3. No work on Sunday!
4. Trying a new church on Sunday--the beautiful Methodist one just a few blocks and across the tracks from my house
5. Dare I say it? Buying paint for my new bedroom! We're going green, people. As in, the color green. The paint will be just plain old Valspar. I'm cheap and am not going to shell out for the fancy enviro-friendly no-fumes stuff.
6. Perhaps start a new really good book? If I can find one?
7. Spending some quality time with the R-Dog

That's a lot to look forward to. And the list of things not to look forward to is neglible. So, it's good!

Have a lovely, lovely weekend all!
Allie

Uh Oh

2010-10-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

Last week, I was at Old Faithful and Lake. This week, I'm attending the Science Conference in Mammoth. Which doesn't leave any little chunks of time to write since I still don't have internet access at home. But, it's been a doozy.

1. Working at Coffee Crossing is making me some nice cash
2. Volunteered at the Blue Slipper Theatre and their production of "Dracula"
3. Ruffers is...maybe sick. The vet thinks there's a mass on his spleen, which could be very, very, very bad. Aaron and I took him for a hike last weekend and I don't want to believe it, but it may have been his last hike. He's acting fine, so I'm hoping for the best. And am trying not to cry.
4. Went to dinner with my friend Wendy, who was visiting from Alaska. It was great to see her--we spent a good hour talking about how hot Michael Landon was. Whew. Oh, PA!

Gotta run!

The Morning Grind

2010-09-29T06:12:00.000-07:00

I know...not such an original title for this morning's post. But come on...it's early. And I'm talking about my new job. Which is in a coffee shop. That grinds its own beans. Get it? Grind? Morning Grind?

Anyway...

I like my new job--I like seeing people and the coffee shop's manager and I really like tips. It's fun and fast-paced and the time really does blow by. It's a bit scary b/c there are a lot of people lined up in a very small space a lot of the time and I don't know what I'm going to do when all of them order lattes and breakfast sandwiches and I'm the only one there trying to get everyone's order right. It's not exactly high-tech there--the till is broken, the grinder is tempermental, and as my dad would say, there's not even enough room to change your mind behind the counter, it's so little. But it should be fun. I'll get the hang of it, I'm sure. I'm friendly, which is the big thing. And my shifts are later in the day, so people hopefully won't be too grumpy.

Plus, a really good-lookin' rancher-type came in twice on Sunday. I hope he keeps that trend going.

The downside, of course, is that the weekends are no longer my own. Even though I'm not working that many hours, I'll still have to be there. That'll be ok for the winter, but is definitely not going to work next summer. So, I have until then to get a better-paying job.

As to that, I made the cert for a promotion here in the park. The job's not mine yet, but that was a big obstacle! Everyone cross your fingers, toes, eyes, and whatever else you got and send lots of prayers.

I spoke with Donna Cammack last night for a bit. She's such a nice lady and made me homesick for the ranch. She called to thank me for the gift Jessi, Emily, and I sent her after she made us the fabulous dinner last month. She is always so happy and I asked her if she got up every morning and just looked for ways to make the day fun. She replied that when she was first married, and there were negative people around, she decided that by heaven, she'd be happy no matter what. So, just out of sheer cussedness and determination, she's been happy ever since. I like that. I like that a lot. She got me all caught up on community and family gossip, which I also liked a lot.

Ok. Guess I'll go work now. Gotta earn that promotion!

Catching Up

2010-09-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

Last week was crazy. I mean, really crazy. I had an 80-hour work week in the Park and then started my second job at Coffee Crossing, which is right next to the movie theatre in Livingston. More on that another time.

The Saturday before last, Amanda and I cooked for an entire day to get some meals in the freezer. We pooled our supplies and grocery shopped for what we didn't have. We ended up buying about $35 worth of food and made 10 recipes.

We made:
Chicken in Red Wine Sauce
Spinach Cakes
Peach sauce for ice cream
Crustless Pumpkin Pie
Creamy White Chili
Elk and Beef Red Chili
Turkey and Bean Stew
Meatloaf
Thai Chicken
Pork in Enchilada Sauce

My freezer is packed! I am so stoked, although I forgot to bring something for lunch today except for some hummus and red peppers and nuts. Dangit!

But it was a lot of fun to cook so much and it's great to look in the freezer and feel stocked up for winter. Even though it's been in the upper 80s here all last week and weekend. What is UP with the weather?!

What a surprise!

2010-09-15T06:07:00.000-07:00

I got on the bus this morning to a wonderful surprise. One of my favorite men of all time was on the bus and sat with me for the ride to Mammoth. Bob is 85 years old and has been working seasonally and as a volunteer here in Yellowstone every summer since the late 1960s. He's a treasure-trove of stories and not afraid to say what he thinks. He's a curmudgeon of the first degree, but somehow he's taken a liking to me and we have a great time. He fascinates me because he was educated at Exeter, Princeton, and Stanford, was a WWII soldier, and worked as an engineer for a few years before he gave it all up to be a Yellowstone Park ranger during summers and a southern California surfer during the winters. He's hard of hearing, which makes conversation tough, but I relish every moment I have with him. If only he were...40 or 50 years younger--I'd have a huge crush. I've seen the pictures--he was a handsome devil in his younger days! He had to take an ambulance ride to Livingston last night (he's ok, thank goodness), which is why he was catching a ride back to the park this morning. So, I didn't get my nap, but it was worth it to sit by my friend and gossip at the top of our voices the entire ride to work this morning.

Blah.

2010-09-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling blah today. As is the world outside. It's been cloudy and kinda breezy for the entire day, but without any real gumption. Even nature is feeling apathetic and listless on this September Tuesday. I can't wait to get on the bus and slip into sweet oblivion as the dual narcotic of British BBC voices over my I-Pod and the hum and slight vibration of the bus work their magic on my eyelids. It's only 2:30? On Tuesday? Ho hum.

Squirreling Stuff Away

2010-09-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

It's definitely autumn! The crisp light and intoxicating air makes me so, so happy. But also nostalgic and kind of pensive. I get really strong impulses this time of year. I want...no, need to buy school supplies. Even though I'm not in school and neither do I have children. A more sensible impulse is my need to preserve foods and fill up the freezer. I froze a bunch of strawberries, raspberries, roast beef, and chicken this weekend and reorganized my big freezer to see how much meat I have going into snow season. I have a lot. It's awesome in there. I also drooled over squashes and bought apples to bake. What can I find to put away next?

Bittersweet

2010-09-12T14:39:00.000-07:00

This has been a generally really bad weekend. Suffice it to say that some people are really not who you think they are. Also, I'm looking for a second job. Which will no longer be a luxury, but rather a necessity. BUT...thank God for family. Aaron, Karen, & Brian soothed my jangled nerves last night, Amanda has been a rock who has seriously saved my sanity and sense of me this week, and Tom and Bonnie sheltered me for a few hours so my shoulders could "un-hunch" this afternoon. Over the phone, my folks offered measured and much-needed advise and reminded me that "this too shall pass." Thank you, everyone.

New Office

2010-09-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

Gosh, it seems like all I do these days is move. This move, though, should take considerably less time. I'm moving into my new office today! Yay! I am very excited to finally have my own space, where I can close the door to make calls and I can actually concentrate while I'm editing stuff. And I'll no longer be mistaken for the office receptionist. These are all really good things.

I went home last night and took Ruffers for a quick walk around downtown Livingston, looking at shop windows to see if anyone had any "Help Wanted" signs. No one did. But it was a beautiful evening--in the upper 60s and no wind. We stopped at one house down the block to let a small child--maybe 2 years old--pet Ruffers. The kid and his dad were pretty stoked and Ruffers was good about it, although he just wanted to keep going!

There was a beautiful sunrise over Mt. Everts this morning when I got off the bus. Pink streaked clouds against a luminous pale blue sky. Still haven't heard any bugling elk, but maybe they'll get going today.

Labor Day Weekend...AKA Lots-of-Labor-Days Weekend

2010-09-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

Whew! What a weekend! Emily moved in this weekend, so it was a major push to get all my stuff out of her room and then get her room & closet painted. It looks pretty good in there, thanks to the efforts of Amanda and Emily. We also got the dining nook almost done--just one more coat on the trim and it'll be finis. Yay! I also got the living room kind of arranged...I like how it's going.

The bummer was that the toilet gave up the ghost, so I had to call in a plumber yesterday to come and do emergency repairs. Happily, he seems to have fixed it and the bill wasn't too excruciating. Nevertheless, I foresee a lot of quick meals in the future that come from my pantry and/or freezer--mamma's not buying anything for the next couple weeks!

Tom, Amanda, and I took down the big mountain ash in my front yard on Sunday. Boy, that was an intense hour and a half. A few limbs landed pretty heavily on roof and fence, but miraculously, there were no major problems--only a slightly bent gutter. Whew! But that was really crazy. Tom's giving me their old wood stove, so I kept the wood for the day that I can get it installed. Yay! I can't wait for the warmth of wood heat!

So many people have helped me so much on the house and it's been really fun working together as a team. I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't been very good about donating my work time in the past. I'll chalk it up to pure selfishness and due in some part to my illness, but I hope to make up for lost time now. I helped Manda paint her rental last night, which was actually fun--I like working as a team for these types of things.

Manda and I fixed dinner and watched the movie The Brothers Bloom on Sunday night. I really liked that movie! I kind of want to watch it again because I think I missed a bunch.

Yummy autumn recipe:
Saute 1 lb. of ground beef. Drain.
Saute 1 zucchini, 1 yellow squash, 1 onion (all sliced), 2 cloves minced garlic, and 1 lb sliced mushrooms in the fat from the beef.
Add 1 jar olive red pasta sauce (I used some from Culinary Circle) & the beef.
Cook till warm and sauce thickens a bit.
Serve over spaghetti squash & sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.
Be prepared to feed a few people or have left overs.
Feel virtuous because you cooked a cheap meal that is healthy and tasty.

Dreams

2010-09-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

This has been a big year for me, during which two of my life-long dreams have come true. First, in February I had the surgery that "fixed" all my medical problems, changing me from an exhausted, dispirited, and likely short-lived woman to one with lots of energy, a new interest in life, a medicine-free existence and a nice little figure (if I do say so myself). It's close to a miracle how much my life has changed in the last six months and I am thankful for it every day. Second, I bought my first house in July. I've looked at hundreds of houses and I love mine. It's cute, full of charm, and perfect for me and Ruffers.

But even before this year, I marvel at how blessed I am with my dreams coming true. I got my Master's degree after years of fiddling around with the idea. I got my jobs in Yellowstone. Even before that, I moved to Montana...my brother moved to Montana...I've have had great friendships...I bought my dream car...got a dog...worked with horses...got great summer jobs that allowed me to visit far-away places...my life is really a succession of fulfilled dreams.

So, what's left? What are my next dreams? The big one, of course, is to fall in love and marry. I want a family of my own. That's what I've been praying about most, lately. Other dreams revolve around trips to faraway lands, meeting back up with friends around the world, becoming a real part of a community, and continuing to make a difference in my professional life. Based on my track record, I look forward to these and even more dreams coming true. Ain't life grand?

And now for the downer. There's new snow in the mountains and I had to close the windows in the house and add an extra blanket to the bed last night. That's just plain ridiculous.

Also, for those keeping track...I love Trident gum.

Another Fair Photo

2010-08-31T15:47:00.000-07:00

The Midway was beautiful with the almost-full moon rising.

Vacation Photos

2010-08-31T07:04:00.000-07:00

The best ride at any fair.

Lane teaching Emily the fine art of firing a S&W .357

Full Moon on the Prairie

I'm back!

2010-08-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

I'm back from vacation. It's kind of nice to be back in the office. It was VERY nice to get back to my house and my own bed.

Highlights of the trip:

Dinner at the Deadwood Social Club, during which I received a lovely call from a nice gentleman
Spending time with the Murphy and Fischer families
Central States Fair--pig wrestling, petting cows, looking at crafts, riding the swings, talking to a nice gentleman
Spending the day feeding bison & elk, shooting guns (and prairie dogs), eating a huge dinner, and spending time with a nice gentleman
Long evening walks
Picking buffaloberries
Full moon
Naps
Playing Yahzee & Uno

Overall, a very nice trip. It's good to be home.

Head out on the highway...

2010-08-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

I just have to say. I am so excited. We're taking Emily's car to SD rather than my Jeep. She gets 35 mpg. I get 18. Gas will be 1/2 as expensive!!!! Yahoo!

Putting together the list of things to take. It's a long list. Ug.

I can't wait to breathe the South Dakota prairie air! And bask in the scent of Black Hills pine trees. And hug my grandma. And watch pig wrestling! And visit with folks. And pet the bison & elk. And hold a baby. And just be home. This is going to be a great vacation.

Little Fella

2010-08-19T06:23:00.001-07:00

Manda took this picture last week of me and the widdle baby squirrel. Isn't he CUTE?!

TGIT

2010-08-19T06:17:00.000-07:00

Thank Goodness It's Thursday!

So many things swirling around in my brain today. Vacation. House. The cash flow situation. What am I going to wear to the fair. You know. Normal stuff.

I had a great talk with my Dad last night, which pretty much took up all the evening. That's fine by me! I like it when he laughs.

I'll be away from internet for the next 10 days, so no blogging for me. I hope to write a bit while on vacation so I can record the day to day here, but hey...I'm on vacation. And I'll do what I want!

Crush.

2010-08-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep on the bus this morning. Instead, I built castles in the air around my latest crush. I've got a pretty good fictional future going for myself, I gotta say. He called me out of the blue last night to finalize some details about my visit there next week. I love surprises like that. The phone rings and you assume it's some telemarketer or something and BOOM--it's a very funny, interesting, and attractive man who's calling to see what day you're coming over because his parents want to delay their vacation so they can see you. (no, he doesn't still live with his parents. but they're nearby. and they love me. it's a ranching community--visitors are a big deal out there.) I was able to sleep last night after the conversation, but my brain was ready to obsess over it this morning and just wouldn't shut off. Besides, daydreaming is much more fun than actual sleeping.

Oh--the meeting with the Superintendent went very well. Yay! We have another one tomorrow. Heady days.

It's dark in the mornings now almost until I get to work. Summer is leaving us, the jerk. Just when I was starting to feel all comfortable and sure of it, it starts packing its bags. Typical.

Where it all happens

2010-08-17T07:07:00.000-07:00

Administration Building in Mammoth. Used to be an Army Barracks. I like to imagine the balconies packed with fit soldiers, lounging in their US Cavalry Blues. It's one way to pass some time.

Mundane

2010-08-17T06:08:00.000-07:00

It's ok if my blog is mundane sometimes, right? I mean, that's what the nuts and bolts of life are like--hours and days of same old, same old. Not that my life is boring. Last night I took the tape off the walls, arranged furniture, did some touch ups, and feel pretty happy with my color choices so far! Yay! And then I walked over to Tom & Bonnie's and Tom gave me fresh green beans, peas, onions, garlic, and dill from the garden. It was fun to help pick and weed the garden a little bit. And I love green beans and peas. The dill is in a vase in the living room and it looks beautiful.

Yesterday was the perfect evening for a walk--just a hint of coolness but perfect light and not a breath of wind. It's the kind of day where you want to hug yourself because you just feel perfectly comfortable and there are no barriers between your heart and the air.

We have a meeting with the Superintendent this afternoon. It should be interesting. I hope it goes well; I'm feeling nervous about it for some reason.

Ruffers is having a tough time staying in the house for 14 hours while I'm at work (who'd'a thunk it?) so this morning I resolved to leave him in the yard. I took his bed out there, told him to stay about 10 times, and drove off. I got all the way to Mark's before my courage left me. I'd rather clean up a mess in the basement than come home to a dead dog. So, I turned around and put him in the house. He was very relieved. I need to train him with his wireless collar and then will feel better about leaving him home in the yard. Once Emily moves in, it won't be a big deal, but it's sure a bummer to deal with in the interim. Just another one of the adjustments to getting the house!

Ok. I'm off to prepare for the big meeting. Wish me luck!

Wherein I Discuss Reasons for Needing a Second Job

2010-08-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

Yipes! Owning a house is expensive!

Emily & I painted the living room walls & ceiling this weekend, as well as about half of the kitchen. It looks great! But anyone who tells you that painting is a "cheap" or "affordable" way to decorate, well...I guess it's all relative. But paint (and brushes and trays and rollers) adds up, lemme tell ya.

And I bought a bunch of new clothes at the thrift store Sacks of Bozeman on Saturday. Size 8. Thank you, thank you very much! All the clothes are great brands and look great and my grand total was $34. I got 1 pair of shorts, 3 shirts, and 4 pairs of pants. Yay! I heart Sacks.

And I went to Costco and got supplies for the upcoming trip to SD. I'm going to be short on cash, but I won't starve to death.

So when I get back, I'll be looking for a job for the weekends. I'm doing some editing work for a friend, which is great, but it won't pay much. I need something a little more consistent and lucrative. I see the Dawg House in Livingston is looking for weekend help. But I'm hoping something at a little coffee hut opens up. Wish me luck! Mamma's gotta buy some more new clothes! And paint. And new wiring for the house. And food.

Panic.

2010-08-16T12:19:00.003-07:00

FYI. I need a second job.

The end.

Yellowstone Lake

2010-08-12T05:59:00.000-07:00

Stacey and I drove down to Lake yesterday morning to attend the Employee Safety Committee. We really enjoy these trips because it gets us into the park and we laugh the entire way there and back. Yesterday, the bison were in rut in Hayden Valley. There was traffic backed up for miles in the afternoon, but wasn't too bad in the morning.

The bison rut is fun to see because the females pretty much go about, business as usual. But the males! Oh, they're in a tizzy. They fight. They pee on the ground and then roll in it. They grunt and bellow and run around after the females with a noticeable intensity. All this is happening close to, or on, the road so it's a great opportunity to observe wildlife behavior, up close and personal-like.

The rest of the drive was really nice. Lots of fireweed over Dunraven and near Tower. The sun was shining and it was good to be on the road.

In other news, Kelli came down to see the baby squirrel yesterday, so she, Manda, Tom, and Bonnie & I went to the Sport for dinner last night and then sat on the porch for a bit. Kelli really liked my house!

Today's my "Friday" since I work 4-10's, although I'll be putting in a full day tomorrow in Bozeman. I hope to get the living room painted in the house this weekend, and more of the kitchen cupboards. I want to get more settled since next weekend I leave on vacation! Yahoo!

Smokin Rockets

2010-08-11T06:03:00.000-07:00

This morning outside the building, looking NE

This has been one crazy week. Smokin rockets. And in about 1/2 an hour, I'm off to Lake to attend the Employee Safety Committee meeting. I'm the recorder. Love it. Luckily, my friend Safety Stace and I solve all the park's problems during our monthly drives to these meetings, which is an added bonus. Happily, besides the true importance of safety in the park, we get to drive through the Hayden Valley bison rut, which should be quite a spectacle. I hope to get some good pictures as we get stuck in bison jams! And of course, other than the ranch, Lake is my favorite place in the world.

So last night after work I went over to Manda's to see her new pet--a 5 week old baby squirrel!!!! Oh my gosh. That thing is adorable. It crawled all over me. She rescued it from Aggie the dog on Sunday and it has imprinted on her--she never tried to catch it; it just came running up her leg all the way to her shoulder and went to sleep under her hair on the back of her neck! What a crazy little fella! Actually, that's his name--"Little Fella." So anyway, he's adorable and Aggie is freaking out because now that squirrel's actually in the house. The sky is falling in Aggie's world.

10 Days til Vacation; Emily, Jessi, and I are going to the ranch and the Central States Fair in Rapid City. We'll be gone a whole week. YES!

From the Archives...

2010-08-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

I still haven't found my camera...so this is another picture from earlier this summer. This is one of the three great horned owlets born about 100 feet from my office window here in Mammoth this spring. Here, he or she has just learned to fly and is hanging out in a nearby tree, finally away from the nest.

Community

2010-08-10T06:13:00.000-07:00

The Yellowstone/Gardiner community has given me a lot. They've welcomed me with the tolerant smiles of those who've seen people come and go in this transient Park Service life but are still willing to give someone a shot if they make an effort. I appreciate that--I've lived in transient communities for a long time and know the dangers of investing too much in people who leave just when you get to know and like them. So, in an effort to make myself useful around here, I've volunteered at music festivals, baked cakes for auctions and cakewalks, bought I-don't-know-how-many raffle tickets, and supported the local boy scouts and 4-H in various ways. Also, I've volunteered to help organize the Park 2 Paradise triathalon, which occurs on the 21st of this month.

Now, I've never even been to a triathalon. I originally signed up just to be a timer for the bike portion. I figured, hey, how hard can it be to hit a stop watch every once in a while? Well, now, because of a perfect storm of events, Emily and I are in charge of organizing all the timers. Uh huh. We have a lunch meeting today to find out more details, but we're drastically short on timers and I'm starting to panic a little bit. I'm sure it'll all work out...right?!

Meanwhile, in my new community, I'll be volunteering for the Western Sustainability Exchange. This organization works with local farmers and ranchers to get their products to local markets, thus making agriculture more sustainable and thus keeping more ranches in families as open land rather than subdivisions. It's a combination of ranching values and conservation ethics, which are sometimes two seperate islands here in the West. I'm pleased to be working on the bridge. And to start setting down more permanent roots through service to my new community.

Build a Better Wilsall

2010-08-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

Wilsall Grain Elevator, picture from MontanaFilm.com (I can't find my camera in the chaos that is my house!)

Amanda, Lil and I went and supported Build a Better Wilsall, in Wilsall, Montana, over the weekend. Wilsall is a small community about 30 miles north of Livingston, made up almost entirely of ranching families. The town itself has a reportedly fabulous cafe and several bars...and that's about it. But it's at the foothills of the Crazy Mountains and is really an idyllic setting for a small western wide spot in the road. The fundraiser was Dinner and a Movie; they served a prime rib dinner and then showed Destry Rides Again starring James Stewart and Marlene Dietrich. All this took place at the rodeo grounds, so watching the movie on a temporary screen as the stars came out was really kind of special.

The event also brought home to me how much I appreciate small towns and ranching communities like Wilsall. Here are a bunch of people who have a narrow profit margin at the best of times, but things are even tougher during this recession. Still, they gave of their time and pocketbooks to come out for this event. Community members spent quite a bit of money at the live and silent auctions, on stuff that was a luxury. Who really needs yet another ornamental duck decoy? Yet, it went for over $100. The generosity of those people was amazing.

Another thing that really touched me was their Gold in the Valley segment. The Ringling 5, a local band made up entirely of ranchers in the Shields Valley, recorded a song about the Wilsall cemetary, which is where they "keep all the gold in their valley". At the event on Saturday, they played that song and had a slideshow of everyone from the community who died in the last year. It was enough to make the strongest of the crowd tear up a bit. Almost all the people who died were elderly...which highlighted another noticeable aspect of the evening. There were few if any children there. Ranching communities thrive on the younger generation--they're the ones who will take over the ranches and do a lot of the work even before that. There should have been children and people my age all over the place this weekend. Unfortunately, people my age or younger were pretty scarce. What will Wilsall be like in another 10 years? Who will run those ranches and continue to Build a Better Wilsall?

The Morning Hush

2010-08-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

Not what I saw this morning, but here's Chief Joseph Pass, east of Yellowstone, on a clear morning a little over a week ago.

Yellowstone is often a frantic, hot, exhausting place in the summer. Crowds of people--visitation is up 6.8% this year so far and almost a million people stopped by in July alone--make this a challenging place, what with their vacation mentality (traffic laws? who needs 'em?). I love tourists. I love that they are in awe of a magical place. I love that they feel the need to stop and take a picture of every single elk and deer they see; they've given full permission to their childlike sense of wonder for everything they see, and in today's world of jaded, hurried drones, that's a valuable thing. However, for those of us to live and work here, summers can be intensely...annoying.

This morning, though, I stepped off the bus and walked a few paces to where I had a view of the Absaroka Mountains just outside the park's boundaries. I paused in the middle of the parking lot, took a few breaths, and just let the quiet of the morning, the cool-but-warm air, and the hazy early-sun lit mountains do their thing for a few seconds. It reminded me of why I love it here. Why I'm lucky to work here, and why I love those tourists even in their infuriating ways. As long as I can retain some of my own wonder and awe for this place, I know I'm good.

Huh.

2010-08-04T06:25:00.000-07:00

Bus was great this morning...but my throat is scratchy and I'm real tired. Onset of a cold? I hope not--Aaron, Karen, Brian, and I are supposed to go on an overnight raft trip on Friday! And I'm organizing it! And am the only one who knows how to row! I've been trying to get Aaron to go on a raft trip for about 7 years now...I can't believe this one might actually not happen. Although, to be honest, working on the house would probably be a good use of my time. At the very least, I want to get the inside of the cupboards painted so I can put stuff away in the kitchen. The chaos is growing. It's like the Nothing in Neverending Story--only I don't have Falcore or Atreyu to help me out. Where is a luck dragon when you need one?

So...I got back to Livingston at 6:40 last night. Stopped at the grocery, cleaned up after Ruffers, made and ate dinner, prepared my lunch/coffee for today, watched 1/2 a movie, unpacked a box or two, showered, and went to bed. Asleep by 10:30. And still only got 6 hours of sleep, which is not enough. I'm thinking I need to streamline my night a bit. No grocery and no movie. Fit in a walk and a bit of time in the yard or on the porch. That would be a better evening. In bed by 9:00 at the latest. Yikes. This is going to be an adjustment!

I read a great story on USA Today that explained how you can rent dorm rooms in universities and colleges in England during summer & winter breaks. You get to stay in awesome old dorms and use their facilities. For example, stay in Keble College at Oxford and eat breakfast (included in the price of the room) in the fabulous centuries-old dining hall. And, it's cheap--even for Super 8 style prices! So, that's going on the list of things I'd like to do. I SO need to do some traveling. I'm feeling all antsy and think a nice trip to a big city would really help me out. And I don't mean San Antonio. I mean Seattle or New York or even Denver, for heaven's sake! But, probably won't happen for a long time. The house is leaving me broke. Which is ok. But not helping my antsiness.

I'm trying to be better about posting pics. Here's one I took early this spring on one of the first hikes of the year. That's Bunsen Peak in the park in the background. And the one-and-only R-Dog in the foreground. Of course.

The House

2010-08-03T06:34:00.000-07:00

I realized I haven't posted any pictures here in a long time. BAD blogger!

Anyway, here's the house! (Photo by Amanda Murphy Knuchel)

Mass Transit in Montana!

2010-08-03T06:17:00.000-07:00

I feel so hip. So urban. So connected to the millions of people in New York, New Jersey, Conneticut, Massachusetts, etc. that get up every morning and make a communal journey to work. I rode the bus to work this morning and I gotta say...it blew my mind. I was really dreading the bus, because I have to be on it at 5:30 am in Livingston and I won't get home until 7 pm this evening. But you know what? It was so comfortable! And relaxing--I slept off and on this morning between peeks at the Paradise Valley as the sun came up. And I listened to music and occasionally took a sip of my yummy coffee. It's $4 per day, which will save me at least $11/day if I drove my own car. Plus, it's a biodiesel bus so it's even better for the environment than regular mass transit bussing. PLUS, it'll be safe this winter when it's blizzarding and it's safe every day because I won't fall asleep behind the wheel or hit a deer/elk. I am stoked. Yes, 4:30 came early this morning and yes, I'll probably be exhausted by the time I get home. But what a house to come home to. And I get to feel hip and urban every morning.

Home Ownership = Weird

2010-07-27T14:47:00.000-07:00

I've been a home owner for 5 days now, and the list of things I need to buy and/or fix is growing at an exponential rate. But, boy is this fun! I love sitting on the front porch. I love that Ruffers got excited when we got home last night from work. I love seeing the house start to shine after I clean up years and years of grime and dirt from careless tenants. By the way, that place WAS disgusting! After hours of work by me, Emily, and Anna, the house is no longer a biohazard! Yay for us!

I am staying in Gardiner tonight to pack more stuff at my apartment and tomorrow I'm going to Bozeman to buy appliances!

It's weird to own a house and the land that goes with it. It's really neat to be part of a continuum of Montana's owners and I love that my house has been standing there since 1918. How many people have fallen in love, gotten married, had kids, been widowed, gotten divorced, faced heartbreak, lived in desperation, laughed till their tummies hurt, and danced in that house?

Lil came over on Sunday and performed a blessing on the house. Tom, Bonnie, Amanda, Lil, Anna, and I wrote intentional words on all the walls of the house to set the tone of my time there. It was a really special way to start on this adventure.

Hello? Is anyone out there?

2010-07-13T16:15:00.000-07:00

Being 33 rocks.

Good things that have happened this year:

1. Christmas time at home with the family.
2. Surgery in February; left the hospital completely cleared and I've lost 70 pounds. I'm THIN!!!
3. Good, good, awesome friends who have supported me, watched Ruffers, taken me to the emergency room, and given me a beautiful gift card.
4. Family vacation at the ranch in June where there were no fires. Although I did wreck the bike 4 times.
5. A whole month at home in Texas when it wasn't Christmas. I got 7 bouquets of flowers.
6. I'm buying a house!!!!! In Livingston!!!!!

And I still have 3 more months of 33 left. What else is going to happen?

Chocolate Party

2009-09-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the 4th annual Gardiner Chocolate Party. I only hope I don't go into sugar coma. Also, I'm a little worried that I won't have time to watch 4 episodes of Buffy this evening.

I'd never seen an episode of Buffy until late last week, when I discovered them on Hulu. Somehow, I missed that generation-defining aspect of pop culture back in the 90's. Well, folks, I'm making up for lost time now. I am now on Season 2 and am officially enamored of Angel. It's so annoying, though, b/c I can't gush about him to my friends b/c the show is so last decade. But let me just say...that man has such broad shoulders.

Just another Manic Monday--Woah-Oh!

2009-08-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

Ruffers kept me up pretty much all night last night. Not by snoring or running in his sleep or needing to go out every 5 minutes or any of the things you might think. No...he kept me awake by FARTING the WORST FARTS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!! They brought tears to my eyes even when my eyes were CLOSED!!! That dog is DISGUSTING!!!!!!

I have a new and weird love for washing dishes. I don't know where it came from, but I'm hoping it's not fleeting.

My friend Jerry and I had lunch on Friday--his last day in Bozeman. I feel bad that I didn't let him pick where we went. But I'm selfish that way. Hopefully his family is all moved into their new sweet house in Hamilton. Sounds like a great place. And it has a stream and garden and orchard on 2 acres, so if the global economy finally collapses and anarchy rules the world, they'll survive. Yay!

I found 2 people who really, really want to dogsit Ruffers since I may be gone 4 of the 8 weeks in Sept/Oct. I won't tell them about the farts.

I had to turn the heat on in the jeep on the way to work this morning, and a light to help me get dressed. It's like watching a loved one slowly die. Summer! Hang on, buddy!

I finally talked to Andrew the other night. He's much nicer than I remembered him being from those last hellacious days at work. He thinks I'll be Supt. of Yellowstone someday.

I worked 5.15 hours of overtime yesterday. I feel a combination of holy righteousness (even though I broke the Sabbath) and petulant martyrdom.

My friend Emma won Reserve Champion with her black angus 4-H steer, Julio, at the Park County Fair this weekend. I'm so proud!

I know 7 women that have either just given birth or are currently pregnant. Seriously, people. Knock it off. My clock can't take this much peer pressure.

Breaking News:

2009-07-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

I heart The Chicago Manual of Style.

In other, sadder news, I am still in shock that Denzil and Pete's condo "set fire" and now pretty much all their furniture and clothes are lost. I weep. But thankfully, Ruby and Montgomery are ok and that's really all that matters.

The Vacation, Part II

2009-07-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

Day 2:
After a fairly decent sleep on the deck, I awoke at 6:30am to get ready to accompany Dad to town. He needed to pick up the camper for he and Mom and some supplies for the projects. I needed to rendevous with Mom and Teresa so we could go to Rapid for Savannah's baby shower.

After Mom and Teresa picked me up in Piedmont, we went back to Sturgis for the cake and then headed to Rapid City. Most of our conversation focused on Dallas' indecision regarding Harvard's request that he apply to go to school there and Hudson's dilemma over a BS or an AS and whether to stay at Full Sail or transfer to Black Hills State. Of course, I know exactly what they should do! ;)

It was great to see Grandma once we got to the apartment. Mom and Teresa had already put in a lot of work decorating the rooms and were putting the finishing touches on food and decor details. Grandma and I went to Target to get a few things and were caught in a massive rain storm! It rained so hard!

The shower was wonderful--Savannah is such a sweet girl and really seemed to appreciate all the attention and lovely presents. Her theme was classic Winnie the Pooh, which leant itself to several games and really cute decorations. My favorite was the table of different honey products where you got your name tag.

After the shower, we cleaned up and Teresa took Mom and I back to Sturgis where we picked up Grandma Murphy's car. I drove us out to the ranch and we arrived shortly before Midnight. It was a long day, but a very special one. Ruffers and I crawled back into the tent and passed out so that we could be up and at 'em bright and early the next morning.

The Vacation, Part I

2009-07-08T11:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, I started the new job this week, and yes, that's exciting. But, I'm very chronilogically oriented, so I can't talk about that until I talk about the trip to the ranch and the Black Hills last week. Which was absolutely wonderful, except for the 3 fires. More on that later.

Day 1: Saturday, June 27. Aaron got strep throat on Friday, so we decided that since he couldn't go to work on Saturday, he might as well be sick as a dog in the car on the way to South Dakota. So, I went up to Bozeman Saturday morning to help him load up the car and trailer. One thing led to another and boom...we're pulling out of Livingston (dinner at Mark's In & Out) at 6:30 pm. Yelp! We had an uneventful, yet time-bending, journey out to the ranch and didn't pull into the driveway at the house until 4:30am. That's late, Dave. Or early--whichever way you want to look at it. But boy were we tired puppies!

We slept for a few hours, although I kept waking up thinking someone was going to walk in the house and see Ruffers in there (he's contraband). I ended up getting up at around 11 or 12 and we got to work. We went to Union Center to get gas for the lawn mower. We tried to start the lawn mower (no dice...more on that later). We cleaned the battery cables on the old Dodge so that it would reliably start for the week. We vacuumed. We fixed the sink drain and got the water, freezer, stove, refridgerator, and water heater turned on. Then, we lounged. It was awesome sitting in a chair in the shade, patiently staring down the road for everyone to show up. So we stared. And stared. then we went for a drive in the old "watched pot never boils" trick. Didn't work. So we stared some more. Finally--down the hill comes Dad! Yay! Aaron jumped on his bike to race out and meet him while I ran up the hill by the garage to wave hello. It was great to see him! Shortly thereafter, Bonnie & Manda, Grandma & JoAnne showed up and it really got to be a family reunion.

Then, the unloading began. I cannot believe how much food went into that house. That's all I'm going to say about that.

That night, after sitting up talking and looking at stars (no mosquitoes!!!), I slept in my tent on the deck. It was lovely and quiet, and a good start to the family reunion.

Lessons learned:

Do not transport blueberries, asparagas, or cherries in a cooler that will ride on a lightweight trailer for 500 miles.
Do not underestimate Bonnie's love of butter.
When someone says they'll be there by 2pm and their last name is or ever was Murphy, do not believe them.

I'm all mixed up!

2009-06-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

Happy? Sad? Anxious? Excited? Check, check, check, and check. All of the above. This is my last day as a museum technician. That's kind of sad, but also good. I can move on, build a career now. However, it's sure been fun over the last year plus to play with Yellowstone's history. Not that it's been rainbows and unicorns the whole time, but I feel like I've crossed the Rubicon here, only to leave.

I'm cleaning up my desk and it's not as emotional as I thought it would be.

Mostly, I'm just ready to get the heck out of here and get on the road for vacation!!!! The Murphy clan is convening at the ranch for a week of sunshine, work, and play. The Matts are bringing over some horses for us to ride, Dad and Aaron are bringing motorcycles, and all the "kids" will be there except for Kelli & Kathy. Of the "grandkids" it will only be Aaron, Anna, and myself. But it should be fun, fun, fun! I can't wait!

Wearing the Green & Grey...

2009-06-25T12:10:00.001-07:00

I took a break...I needed a break!

2009-06-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

I just love paraphrasing Dirty Dancing. It makes me happy inside. Sorry if it gets old, but really, it's just part of my charm.

So...I needed a break because I didn't want to blog about my job hunt. And since that's pretty much all I've thought (obsessed) about for the last month and a half, I had to stop blogging.

However. The big news is....(drum roll, please)...

I GOT A JOB! Yahoo! I won't even have a break in service with the NPS because on July 6th, I become Yellowstone's newest Editorial Assistant! Yahoo! I can't believe it's happened. What a relief. I get to stay here. I get to start a new and challenging career. I will be working with the Comprehensive Planning office, editing plans for future changes to major developed areas in the park. Plus...it's a term position! Yipee! Health insurance and benefits, here I come! This is really a dream come true. I don't want to jinx myself, but this is just another step in the traditional path to permanency--intern, temp (STEP) for one year, and now term. Maybe, just maybe...I could actually have a career with the National Park Service.

Of course, I'm sad to leave the museum. I love working with the tangible evidence of Yellowstone's history. I love the friendships I've made here. Even though those friendships will continue since I'll still be in the park, they'll change. And change is really, really bad. At least, that's what my heart tells my more sensible brain.

But...my funding here ends in August, so this job is the best solution to my "how the heck am I going to stay here" dilemma. Now, I just have to figure out how to be a professional editor. Thank goodness for Amazon and their lovely selection of reference books.

Here is a run down of how I managed to land a job in these precarious economic times:

I began my job hunt in January, 2009 when I learned that my funding was ending at my current position. I was offered my job on Friday, June 12th at 3:30pm.

I sent out a total of 28 applications with customized resume and cover letter for each job.

I signed up for job list updates at Idealist.org and Higher Education.com

I stalked professional museum, heritage, newspapers, and state job lists daily, looking for jobs that met my salary and benefit requirements.

I also stalked usajobs.gov, hotjobs.com, and indeed.com.

I bit the bullet and travelled (on my own dime) 1800 miles round trip for a job interview in Brookings, SD for the SD Humanities Council. Even though I loved the job and its mission, I ultimately turned down their job offer because their salary (and benefits, or lack thereof) didn't quite meet my short- and long-term goals of a financially secure future.

I talked to friends, family, professors, and Facebook about my desire for a job.

I decided to focus my job search on a geographic area because I want to live in Montana or South Dakota. I also included UT and CO because they're close. And Texas because it would be nice to be closer to my parents. I then broadened my search out of the museum field to include project and program management. I identified that I would like to make a difference with my job, so I actively sought out jobs with the government and the Girl Scouts (weird combo, I know, but it works in my mind.)

When my friend told me about the editorial assistant job in Yellowstone, it was merely a rumor. So, even before the job was announced, I stopped in at the chief's office to introduce myself. She ended up talking to me informally for quite some time and was excited by my qualifications for the job and by the fact that I took the initiative to meet her. I kept up a casual correspondence with her throughout the hiring process and let her know that I really, really wanted this job. I took extra care with my federal application and let it sit overnight before I submitted it. I qualify for a GS-9 based on my education and experience, but said I would accept a GS-6 just to get my foot in the door as a term and to increase my chances of not getting blocked by a vet. As it turns out, I will start at a 6 and then get automatically increased to a 7 within six months.

I took examples of my writing and other projects to the interview and explained their significance. During the interview, I focused on my strong commitment to communication and education, which I feel apply to any project management or editing position. I also highlighted my experience with teams, which is important in a small office like this. I did a little name-dropping, but really focused on my own assets rather than that of my quasi-famous family members.

And above all, I searched my soul and came to grips with the idea of leaving my home and all my friends and a lot of my family if I needed to. Luckily, I haven't had to make that difficult decision, but I did a lot of mental prep work for that possibility. I prayed often, talked to my friends and family, and a shed a lot of tears. Ultimately, I'm glad I went through that experience. Hopefully, it will enable me to appreciate my new job more. I've never taken living in Montana for granted, but now I've proven to myself that I can make my commitment to my way of life last.

I have a job! Yay!!!!

My old blog...

2009-05-15T06:38:00.000-07:00

I had a blog a few years ago and remembered some nice posts on it, but I couldn't for the life of me remember the address. Today, in a flash of brain activity, the address just popped into my head: http://monty.mindsay.com/. It's fun to read about some of my adventures from 2005 & 2006. A lot has changed since then, thank goodness.

I got that afformentioned flash of brain activity b/c for the last 2 nights, I have gotten the best sleep that I've had in years. Literally, years. It's been amazing. I feel so alert!

Went for a hike last night after work with Ruffers. Very beautiful evening--rain storm over Electric Peak across the valley and the meadow larks were singing. We're still getting occasional snow showers, but it's supposed to be 85 in Bozeman on Monday when I meet Hali & Denzil for lunch. Yay!

Awwww!

2009-04-29T08:10:00.000-07:00

First baby bison of the year! So, so cute! It was nursing on its mama out on the football field in front of work this morning.

By the way...it's snowing. Still/again/forever.

Lazy days and Sunday...

2009-04-26T17:50:00.000-07:00

There's just something about falling asleep while listening to public radio on a snowy grey afternoon in late April. Rain and snow in the forecast for the foreseeable future, drat. I hope we get some nice weather for the FS cabin next weekend!

Best get back to that radio...

Huh.

2009-04-24T08:08:00.001-07:00

It snowed all night. After my first hike of the year on Wednesday, where I laid on the grass and didn't even get muddy, this is what happens. You have to be strong to survive here.

Sun-warmed

2009-04-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

It is a glorious day. I mean, the kind of day that when you walk outside the sun greets you like a physical presence on your face and bare arms and the inside of your car smells like toasted leather and dirt and the birds are making such a racket you're not sure if you love them or hate them. But mostly you love them. And the light is golden and the land around you has a newly-hatched look, even though on close inspection it's still just the same old brown hills and dusty streets. The light, after the hard glare of winter, is now a caressing, playful, friendly thing that brings smiles and the opening of both your arms and your soul. Your eyes, though, squint in the brightness, unaccustomed after the long dark winter to such plenty.

Life is so much...more open now!

2009-04-17T07:02:00.000-07:00

Even though I have a few more edits to do on my paper, I'm pretty much done, done, done with my MA. The paperwork has been signed and hands have been shook. No more studying. No more feeling guilty while I procrastinate. No more thinking that no matter what I'm doing, it's not going to be good enough. Because, you know what? It was good enough. Yippee!

So last night I made a healthy dinner. And it was delish. I made lovely roasted asparagus w/ a divine soy/balsamic vinegar sauce. And I baked salmon in a tiny bit of butter and lemon which was perhaps the best salmon I've ever had. And then, I was going to make wild rice and a low-sugar, low-fat strawberry rhubarb crunch. Unfortunately, by the time I went to the store, took Ruffers for a walk, hung out at the football field waiting for a bison cow to give birth (which she never did and now the herd's gone, so I don't know what the heck happened), and got my act together, I didn't have time for the rice or dessert. So instead I had 2 dinner rolls w/ Brommel & Brown butter and blueberry-blackberry jelly. Kind of a starch/dessert in one deal. Life is good, good, good.

Alicia Murphy, MA

2009-04-14T18:37:00.001-07:00

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I now have a Masters in History!

This feels weird. Really weird.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

Lovely, lovely day. I slept with the windows open last night and woke to a glorious morning. The sun was actually warm on my face as I let Ruffers out at around 8:00. The drive to Livingston was perfect. I saw a bald eagle, 2 ospreys on their nest, a big horn sheep ewe, 3 sandhill cranes, and lots of little baby calves. I love when calves are new--for the first few weeks they have pointy little behinds, and that silhouette really speaks of springtime, birth, and cuteness.

Brunch in Big Timber was as good as ever. And, I ate a lot, of course. But strangely, I'm hungry again already. Sigh.

There's green on the hillsides and the sky is blue, blue, blue. I came home over East River Road to immerse myself in the afternoon sunshine.

Now I'm ostensibly studying for my oral exams, which are tomorrow afternoon. I don't really know what else to study, because I feel that I've prepared pretty well. I hope this isn't false confidence. My aim is to not be cursing myself tomorrow at noon.

Good Friday

2009-04-10T10:50:00.001-07:00

I may be going to hell. Andrew & I just made up a story that the Easter bunny resuscitated Jesus in the tomb. Then when the rock was rolled away, Mary Magdalene and later the soldiers were awed to find only the Easter bunny, surrounded by brightly-colored eggs, in the place where Jesus had been. That's the lesser-known Easter miracle--how the bunny laid all those eggs.

Yup, sorry God. Just havin' a bit of fun on this holy day.

Highs in the happysphere!

2009-04-09T16:19:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air!
I never thought I could feel so free!!
I'm flyin' away on a wing and a prayer!
Who could it be?
Believe it or not...
It's just me!

The Ups and the Downs

2009-04-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Andrew gave his official resignation yesterday. He's moving on to greener pastures--literally. He'll be on a lush island just north of Seattle.

So...maybe I can get his job????

Nope. Colleen doesn't have the funding to fill the position, so that's not going to be an option.

I feel like I'm going to explode under the stress of all this. Either that or have a crying fit.

Singing out the day

2009-04-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

Yonder come day,
Day is a'wakin!
Yonder come day,
Woah, my soul!

Yonder come day,
Day is a'wakin!
Sun is a'risin,
In my soul!

Ok...so that's a morning song and it's afternoon. But it just seems like a good, slow, hopefully positive tune to match my slow, kinda happy, sleepy mood. Plus, I'm leaving work in 3 minutes, so that's where the hopefully positive part comes in.

Today is much, much better

2009-04-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

Wow. April Fool's Day really did a number on me! But after work yesterday I cleaned the terminals on my Jeep and then took it up to Livingston for a nice long drive. Dinner at Mark's made life all better again!

And Jessi just came down & gave me a check for the food that spoiled in the freezer. Yay! I won't bounce any checks this week! (Not that that ever happens anymore. But those destitute days in my early 20s have really stuck with me...)

Trying to make a really big decision, and really wishing I knew what to do.

This is just ridiculous...

2009-04-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

I went up to Mammoth to sit in my car for the interview b/c that's where we get best reception. Well, the interview was really good. But then I went to start my Jeep and....clickclickclick. No starting. Uh oh. So, long story short, the folks at the HRC came up in the work van to rescue me, which was very nice. But then Andrew put the jumper cables on backwards, thereby potentially killing both my battery and the van's. Luckily, Ranger Keith (next door neighbor last summer) came up and jumped both the cars w/ his squad car. Whew! Hopefully my car will start again after work! I think it's just the corrosion around the battery cables that caused the problem. I hope so--a new starter is $500!

This day gets better & better!

It just gets better

2009-04-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I just got into a big fight about whether or not it's right to levy a huge tax on cigarettes. I think it is. He thinks its discriminatory. He kept pulling out arguments and his final one was that we should tax government weapons b/c they kill more people than smoking does. He doesn't believe in the health effects of second-hand smoke. He thinks fossil fuels are luxuries. He doesn't think that tobacco is a luxury b/c it used to be part of soldiers' rations. I finally had to leave the room b/c I found myself raising my voice and telling him that his arguments were the stupidest things I've ever heard. When I came back in, he came over to my office and whispered "You're going down, Murphy." I cannot wait to be away from this kind of thing.

One of those days...

2009-04-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

I hate days like this. It actually started last night when I discovered that the plumber that Jessi hired to come re-do our pipes had unplugged my freezer sometime last week. I'm thinking Wednesday. And so everything in it, including all the 4-H beef Mom and Dad gave me, and Heidi's elk meat from her folks, was ruined. Not a nice surprise.

Then this morning, I let Ruffers out, peed, and then went to let him back in and *poof* he was gone. So, I had to track him, in the new snow, in my pajamas, across the street and down a block. I only found him b/c he noticed 2 other loose dogs romping around near me. And then, when I saw him, he ignored my calls and went to play with the other dogs. I finally got him to me and flipped him over on his back and shook him by the scruff (I've read Monks of New Skete). He yelped like I was skinning him alive and ran back to the house. It's no effing wonder that he's sick all the time! Who knows how much garbage he ate on his little jaunt. Might I also add that he did the same thing on MONDAY morning at 6AM? When I was SICK and he was really SICK and had bloody diahrea the entire day? And I drove my car around the entire town, calling his name, for almost 1/2 hour before he magically showed up at the house again? He KNOWS he's supposed to stay near the house. I sure wish I could find his wireless fence collar, but I can't. And since it costs almost $150, I'm not going to be able to replace it any time soon. I'M SO MAD!

And then I got to work and realized I'd forgotten my ID badge.

And on the way back to the house to fetch the afformentioned badge, some idiot was sitting at an uncontrolled intersection. He was there before I came around a corner & saw him. He was on my right. He CLEARLY had the right-of-way. But no. He waved me through. Now, I realize that he was probably just trying to be nice, but I've totalled a car b/c someone wanted to be nice and break a traffic law. I don't want to do it again. Just obey the laws and no one will get hurt, people!

Ok. Rant done. I can only hope the rest of my day goes better. Like, for my job interview at 10:30.

I PASSED COMPS!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-31T10:12:00.001-07:00

Those 4 hours of frantic writing and searching my brain and then the days of second-guessing my essays are over! I've passed! Now I only have to finish my paper and endure my orals! Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let them eat CAKE when they're done with their comps!

2009-03-31T06:51:00.000-07:00

Here's the fancy cake Denzil and Pete brought for all of us to eat on Friday. It's bee-u-ti-ful. And yummy. The flavor was pink champagne & it had a strawberry on top. Sweetpea Bakery in Bozeman, for future reference.

I lived!

2009-03-31T06:41:00.000-07:00

Comps are over. Dinner w/ Hali, Denzil, and Pete at the Mint in Belgrade (Ka-ching!) is over. Amanda's house-warming/birthday party is over. I have a end-of-the-stress cold, even though the stress is still here. I worked on my paper yesterday, going over edits and finding more quotes to back up my broad statements. Ruffers was really, really sick all day long. I even called the vet and he prescribed Immodium for the poor guy. It's scary to see blood on the ground.

Interview tomorrow. I hope I can actually speak!

I can't believe I signed up for this.

2009-03-27T11:53:00.000-07:00

Comps suck. Big time.

T-Minus 1 Day...

2009-03-25T06:18:00.000-07:00

Comps are tomorrow. Holy heck. I've been dreading these for about 2 and 1/2 years and tomorrow is the day. I am not prepared. I still have so much to read. Last night I was looking over my notes and realized I'd forgotten to re-read Fredrick Jackson Turner's essay about closing the frontier. HELLO! That's like, the most important essay in Western American History! Blurg! I am so, so dead. Plus, I had really bad stomach pains last night, so I couldn't focus very well. Man, oh man. Who's idea was it that I'd be able to work full time and finish grad school? Well, whoever it was, they were NUTS!

Note to self:

2009-03-24T12:08:00.001-07:00

Do not order the chicken strips at The Town.

I want to die, now. Ugh.

Holy Blizzard, Batman!

2009-03-24T07:14:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe the storm western South Dakota is experiencing! It was almost 80* on Sunday and now they're in the midst of a crazy spring blizzard. It has solidified my desire to move back home to the Hills. I love storms, and we just don't get weather events like that around here.

Feelin' Groovy...

2009-03-22T09:53:00.000-07:00

I slept with the window open last night.

Yup, that's right. Of course, it was mostly to aid the carpet drying efforts in the dining room, but still. I didn't freeze to death. And Heidi and I went for a 4 mile walk last night and I was warm in my jacket. You'd never know I was in Yellowstone!

Before the walk, Jessi & I went up to Mammoth Hotel to watch the high school prom Grand March. It was so fun! I totally caught the excitement that was buzzing around the room and felt nervous and jazzed and hyped. The girls all looked so incredibly beautiful and the boys very handsome. And so young! And full of hope and expectations! Emma, who comes to help me look at bug traps at work about once a month and tells me all the details of her lovely life, looked particularly gorgeous. In the year that I've known her, she's turned into a young lady.

Studying for comps today and then going to Bozeman for a sushi party at Aaron's. Brian and Heather are here from TX and I can't wait to hear what they thought about their first experiences with snow. That's right. They're in their late 20s and have never seen snow before. Those crazy south-central Texans!

Spring is here!

2009-03-20T10:42:00.000-07:00

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SPRING!

While things are still brown here, I saw the first conclusive evidence of spring yesterday--several mountain bluebirds have arrived! I am not sure you understand how incredibly amazing that fact is and how much it makes me want to jump up and down and cry for joy.

Also, I turned the heater off in my house yesterday afternoon and haven't turned it back on again. Yes, it was warm enough under my down comforter to not have the heat on. Oh blessed day!

And, Bonnie made Easter reservations for us at The Grand in Big Timber!

Oh my gosh. I can barely breathe and I have butterflies in my stomach. All the drudgery of winter is justified in these giddy spring and summer days.

I scream, you scream...

2009-03-19T15:01:00.001-07:00

We're going for ICE CREAM! A sure sign that summer's on its way. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Month, in Wonderland

2009-03-19T06:30:00.001-07:00

Jessi, Heidi, and I went down to Old Faithful for 2 nights in February. We caught a ride in the Pernod luggage coach and stayed in NPS employee housing, so the weekend was remarkably inexpensive. And mostly blissful. We had drinks and a few meals at the Old Faithful Lodge and spent time stalking geysers in the evening. We saw several go off, including Grand, which was one I hadn't seen before. Heidi and Jessi went X-C skiing on the full day that we were there but I, sluggard that I am, spent the entire day at the Lodge, sitting in front of the fire, studying. It was awesome. The only downside is that we had to ski back and forth from our little apartment. I actually like X-C skiing, except that it makes my feet hurt so bad, even after just a few minutes, that I want to fall down in the snow, curl up in a ball, and cry. Which really takes the joy out of something, you know?

Bean porridge in the trash...

2009-03-18T06:43:00.000-07:00

Icky. Icky, icky, icky!

Seldom do I made something that is totally inedible. But I spent over 10 hours doing so on Monday.

I ladeled up a nice bowl of my bean & ham soup last night for dinner, happy to finally taste it... and was revolted. I had a stomach ache afterwards. I am going to throw the entire crockpot of it away. That's how bad it was. The ham bone & cubed ham I had was from the honey-glazed ham at Thanksgiving and it gave the soup this nasty sweet undertone that no amount of salt could hide. I shudder.

The other blog obsession in my life...

2009-03-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com is the funniest site on the Web, as I posted earlier. But my other favorite blog, which I am quickly becoming stalkerish over, is http://pioneerwoman.blogspot.com. Pioneer Woman...she cooks! She takes beautiful pictures! She takes beautiful pictures of dogs and horses! She wins Blog of the Year at the Bloggies! Yay!

So very sleepy...

2009-03-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

We had a St. Patty's Day brunch at work this morning. It was a potluck, so there was tons of food. I need a nap. Corned beef & hash, sausage, sausage cheese balls, scones, apples & carmel (my contribution b/c I ran out of ingredients last night and it was after 7pm so the store was closed), Irish soda bread, waffles...I feel like throwing up just thinking about it. But it was all so delicious.

On another note, I totally called it in my post of last week--after a weekend of good health, Ruffers was sick again in the wee sma's this morning. My bed sounds so incredibly comfortable right now...

It's raining, it's pouring...

2009-03-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

...The old dog is snoring.

Just kidding, he's not. He's anxiously trying to lick up the broth from the soup that overflowed out of the crockpot. Problem is, it's in the back kitchen, which is carpeted. It's a hard-knock life for ol' R-dog.

It is raining, though. Snowing up in the mountains. Ruffers and I went for a brief walk around the block a bit ago and it was pretty miserable out. As only late winter in the Rockies can be. Cold, windy, muddy, and brown. Green up better happen soon. As Heidi would say, this is "slit-your-wrist weather."

I do like it, though, when it's miserable outside but inside is so nice and welcoming with some NPR, the kind light of shaded lamps, and the smell of soup that I'll get to eat...tomorrow. Actually, the wind was kinda pissy earlier and a few gusts shook the house, which is one of my favorite weather-related experiences. Such power in the wind, but even more power in the rocks and mortar that surround me. It's a small thrill to liven up a hermit-day.

I've done some studying, but as usual this semester, my brain can't really focus. I've seldom felt so distracted as I have recently. I read some of my papers to refresh my memory of the books I've read over the last two years, and was amazed at how well-written they were, full of insight and clever turn of phrases. I'm sure I couldn't put out that quality of work today. What happened to that girl?

Lucy braved the elements for about half and hour this afternoon. She's definitely not a rain kind of cat. She spent most of the day curled in her little red bed under the dining room table in front of the furnace. Sounds good to me.

And now...

Something to cheer me up:

Look at that grass! Last year was absolutely amazing out at the ranch! And the hood of the old Dodge truck, which Grandma bought just after Grandpa died 20 years ago. And the grasshopper smears on the windshield--I did my part in pest eradication that weekend. And look at that endless blue South Dakota sky. It will come again. Summer will be here.

Bean porridge hot...

2009-03-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

I am making bean soup. I wish I could picture it, but Aaron's borrowing my camera. Figures that he would borrow my camera the week that I start a blog. Grumble. Anyway, I soaked the beans overnight and then kind of leisurely started adding ingredients this afternoon. And then...realized 2 bad things. 1. My huge crockpot is just barely big enough to hold the soup--this better freeze well. 2. This thing is going to take 10 hours to make. I started it at around noon. So I'll eat dinner tonight after I go to sleep.

Good thing I made cookies yesterday. They'll keep me going.

Yummy yum yum

2009-03-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Heidi just came over for dinner for the 2nd Sunday in a row. Last week she brought over her homemade wild rice soup and some buttermilk biscuits that were one of the best things I've ever eaten. Ever. I mean, wow. And I made a spec-tic-tacular potato & ham soup. Topped it all off w/ a pie that Heidi's been stashing in my freezer since summer--apple & cherry w/ homemade whipped cream. It was great, but I was so incredibly full afterwards that I wanted to die.

This week I made scallops w/ a breaded topping and a creamy risotto (out of a box) (shhh...). Heidi brought devine asparagas in a foil pouch. And steamed broccoli. So much healthier and I don't want to die. Although the 5 gingersnaps I ate (made them this afternoon--Betty Crocker is absolutely genius) are a bit ridiculous.

On a related note, I got up this morning and thought...hmm...what to do, what to do. So Ruffers and I went for a long 3+ mile walk. Before breakfast. We went along the old railroad bed that runs far above the Yellowstone River. Ruffers had to be on leash b/c it's Park land, but other than that, the walk out was very nice. At one point, we came around a bend and saw, in the distance, two Canada geese walking along the trail. Just kind of poking along, looking around. They eventually left the trail when they noticed us coming up behind them (an eager dog and human walk much faster than two Canada geese). As we approached the spot they'd "ducked" out, we all scared the heck out of each other as they took off in an explosion of wings and honking. Ruffers was very excited.

After we got over the goose shock, and tired of walking along the river w/ no views of the Gallatins, I decided that we should climb the steep slope on our left and catch the gravel road that should have been just out of sight. We climbed the steep slope, and then the one after it, and came out with no view of the road. Drat! So now were were going cross country in Yellowstone. And the other part of "we" is of course the dog. Which is a species not allowed off trail. So we hot-footed it further along and I breathed a real sigh of relief when we got within 100 ft. of the road and we were once again inside the law. It actually wasn't a good idea at all to leave the nice sheltered trail--out on the exposed highlands, the wind came whipping along, bringing desultory snow. I had an earache within seconds. And, we couldn't see the mountains b/c of the low snow clouds. Dang it! But it was good to get out and we saw pronghorn antelope, elk, and a snowshoe hare. Ruffers was particularly interested in the hare. All in all, a good thing to do on a chilly Sunday morning.

Decisions, Decisions

2009-03-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

This...

or this...

The funniest stuff on the web...

2009-03-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

is

the

funniest

website

EVER.

Personal favorites: Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys and "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" Solid gold, folks.

I was just laughing so hard that Ruffers woke from his nap and came over to see if I was ok.

Goals for weekend...

2009-03-13T15:47:00.000-07:00

Study for Comps
Eat ice cream
Take Ruffers for 2 long walks
Wash Dishes
Study for Comps
Listen to radio
Watch some netflix
Study for Comps
Work on professional paper
Study for Comps
Make weekly trash run
Study for Comps
Sleep
Study for Comps

(My hope is that if I say it enough times, I'll actually get some studying done.)

I heart postcards

2009-03-13T14:05:00.001-07:00

I just cataloged 4 of the coolest postcards I've ever seen. They're "real photo" postcards, which means that someone took pictures and then stamped the postcard format on the back, and oila--you have a postcard! These were of a roof fire at the Yellowstone admin building back in 1911. The sender, Frank, was one of the firefighters & put a little "x" over himself in each picture so that Miss Frany in Tacoma, WA would know which one he was. Frank signs each card w/ "hugs", "kisses," or "love." AAAAwwww!!! Pretty cute, especially for 1911!

That Dumb Dog

2009-03-13T08:27:00.000-07:00

After months of good health, Ruffers has slid downhill again and has been getting sick every other day for the last few weeks. Frustrating? Yes. Infuriating? Yes...especially at 3 am when he needs out. And then at 3:25...and 4:10...and 4:40...and 5:06...and 5:15. And if I leave him out, he just barks. A loud, high-pitched, panicky bark that wakes not only me, but the whole neighborhood. I am sleep-deprived and resentful. Not a good combo. At least it's Friday! Yay! Dollars-to-donuts, he won't be sick again till Monday night, just when I'm trying to gear up for the new week. Blast!

Ssshhh! I'm hunting jobs!

2009-03-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

I have had a job, of one kind or another, since I was 14 years old. I have never had any trouble finding work. And not just any old jobs. I've had some pretty cool ones. Like groom, team leader at indoor playground, camp nature specialist on Cape Cod, Electronic Communications Specialist for a non-profit, Web Coordinator for a university, and now museum tech in Yellowstone National park, to name some of the better jobs. But I've put 19 resumes out into the world, and not a single nibble. I obsess over email. I compulsively check my phone, except on the days I leave it at home in a not-so-sneaky way of reverse psychology tricking someone into calling me. I've been turned down by two, but the other 17 are silent as the grave. COME ON, PEOPLE! The closing dates have just closed on several, and a few more are coming up soon. Hopefully, I'll hear something soon. So I can stop panicking. And obsessing. And trying reverse psychology, which is just silly anyway.

Blogging

2009-03-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

Heavens, I love how self-indulgent this whole blog thing is. It's all about me, me, me. That's awesome. And if you think I'm kidding...I'm not.

Well Hello There!

2009-03-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

Not that I reallly think my life is so epic. However, my friend Hali, after listening to me describe the horrendous search for housing near Yellowstone National Park last spring, exclaimed in subdued awe..."Alicia...your life is so epic!" (Because that's what my real name is and that's what most people still call me--Allie's just an affectation) And I haven't forgotten since then to look at my life as interesting. Because is there anything worse than boring? And I don't mean that I color my hair or body weird colors or put a bunch of metal in my face and dance by the light of the moon. I'm not that kind of interesting. But I think (hope) that my life is interesting in a American comedy/drama normal kind of way.

For instance. I live two blocks from Yellowstone National Park. I have a one-eyed dog named Ruffers (because dogs go "Ruff-Ruff"). On Tuesday, I vaccuumed both a bald eagle and a bison. The bison has a much nicer mohawk now.